Home what does that word invoke with you? Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz…saying “There is no place like home.” First we need to track back and define what each of us makes home mean.
There are many meanings and levels of intrepretating what home means. We have a literal home – where we live. A home where we come from. A spiritual home. An emotional home. We have our physical bodies that we also inhabit. What do you need to feel more at home in these various aspects? ( Get out of your HEAD. Do not allow your head to answer.) Command yourself to get into a feeling place. That means take the time to close your eyes and breathe into the question and feel the answer.
This is a rich question. It is asking you to feel into your life and intuit what is there that is nurturing and creating a safe place for you to land in the various types of home you inhabit. What do you “feel” is missing?
When I was about 9 years old I had no ability to pick up my bed and walk. As a child you do not have a choice to be other then where you are. I had a few strategies that I embraced to help me feel more safe and secure in a world that felt scary to me. One of my strategies was I set up alot of cans of tuna fish under the bed as the first defence against the fears that would overwhelm me at night. I was terrified to go to sleep at night and to surrender into the darkness. It helped me feel more secure with my armed “tuna fish” can guards. I also made many signs of the cross…lol in order to ward off what I perceived as the nightly onslaught of evil doers that I felt were surrounding me. Never hurts I thought to be in a prayer position!
As an adult I have moved through to find better strategies to make myself feel safer, more nurtured and contained in the world. How did I do this? I have worked my ass off as an adult working at identifying areas in my life where I did not feel safe and secure. By moving towards those areas in my life where I would rather not have ventured, I found the courage to face some illusions and truths about my life.
I learned new tools, exercises to help me move through those places in my various symbolic homes where I needed to complete the unfinished business of my childhood. By doing so I have established many new healthy homes for myself as an adult. It is deep dirty work going after the debris of old unfinished business equivalent to cleaning out an overstuffed hoarders basement lol…but once you get to shining the light into the shadows there I discovered many things.
I can and do parent myself almost on a daily basis. If some of you out there are working from dawn till midnight try parenting yourself and put yourself to bed earlier. Imagine yourself having a loving nurturing parent who says “enough Ruth….time for bed you need your rest and have a hot bath before bed and read something encouraging and I will be tucking you in in 20 minutes…its enough now.”
It takes courage to determine what you want to create now in your various homes. Once you decide what you want home to be like you have a chance to move towards bringing things in and purging yourself of things that no longer work or reflect who you are more fully becoming.
I suggest you take a time out to close your eyes and imagine each one of your symbolic homes and start creating images and new designs of what you want to renovate. Becoming an active co-creative designer of your life build the homes of our dreams. Challenge yourself to dream even bigger…be bold…be notorious.